Here are a few sample lines from my book, which has just been updated on Smashwords and Kindle.
Of all the zombies in the world, I had to run over a comedian!
Not long ago, there was a grilled cheese sandwich that came suddenly
into conscious existence as the result of an order at a cafeteria
combined with an unexplainable miracle.
Once upon a time there was a
widowed lady vampire who married a wealthy, domineering vampire man as
her second husband after her first husband died in a freak boating
accident.
You wouldn’t have expected it, but I think Mars is being populated by mice.
I had been digging in my backyard, looking for loose change, when I
found what appeared to be a very old piece of shell, and I wondered if
it might actually be from an ancient dinosaur egg.
“Friends, turtles, countrymen,” he announced loudly, and began to shake a spear.
Our new movement, called Puppetology, is growing quickly, recruiting
followers at airports, colleges, and through a thick book that makes
outrageous claims.
Honey Bunny healed nicely, but one day while she
was out gathering Arabbita beans for their gourmet coffee, she was
confronted by Ernie [the cow], who was drunk.
Recently I came up with the idea of forming a cloud alphabet.
The “Force” was not with anyone; it had not been discovered yet. The
only thing that came remotely close was the “Urge,” which was not very
helpful to anyone.
I’ve found a great way of making new friends that
is better than my usual method of staring at strangers to see if they
will say something.
The ghost floated back to the sawmill laughing
its head off (and putting it on again) then finished smoking the
cigarette the boys had dropped.
Never mess around with dancing magical gnomes who have matches!
Pierre was surprised at the news, but Dr. Guillotin explained that
Louis, the local king of the fireflies, was a tyrant and “not the
brightest bulb.”
There is NO secret race of subterranean people, so don’t come looking for us!
It was a day as hot as the flaming forge of Vulcan in the sleepy little
village when, circling high overhead, came…the Gloomy-Bird!
Bleepy, the shortest of the clowns, had a hidden passion that none of the others knew about.
I have this idea of removing my clothes, getting into a large pool of mud, and covering myself from head to toe.
I was arrested and eventually confined to an asylum for the terminally
imaginative in the Evil Twin Ward, next to a fat guy named Elvis who
sings a lot of old songs in the middle of the night.
For years,
little Wally Weasel had been squirreling away the loose change he found
at the rest stops along the highway that ran from the city.
The
Goblins had a kitchen factory called Smogworts on the mountaintop where
they baked their treats made from owls, olives, and the ore they mined
from deep within the earth.
When Bud suggested that I tell the
ladies at the end of the bar that I was in possession of a powerful
aphrodisiac, I knew it was time to leave.
You can get away with just about anything if you call it “performance art.”
Download today!
